A Funny Email Forward About Growing Old

We probably have questioned ourselves, how long will I live? There are many factors that can affect lifespan, and of course many lifestyle changes and interventions that can increase lifespan, as well as many vices and bad habits that can decrease it. But then, we also question ourselves, what are we living for? Here's a great email about a person who goes to the family doctor for advice on how to live longer, and the doctor's response. Hope you enjoy this email!

Here's the really funny email:
Subject: Will I Live To Be 80?

I recently picked a new primary care doctor.

After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.

(I'll be turning 65)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,

'Do you think I'll live to be 80 ?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'

'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?

'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said,...


"Then, why do you even give a shit?"

A Funny Email To Send On Car Sex

Although most of us do not really care for the tabloids and gossip, we cannot help it but get stories shoved in our faces once in a while. And of course, if the stories come with pictures, the harder it is to turn our heads away not pay attention. There is probably instinct in humans that makes want to snoop around once in a while. Here is a hilarious funny email with some car sex photos. See if you can resist looking at them!

Here's the very funny email:
Subject: Car Sex


Car sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This photographer must have used a very powerful lens to be able to photograph this scene.

Check out the pictures - one by one.

What did you expect to see ?????

Yup, I was straining my eyeballs to try and see through the back window too!

Gotcha!!! Hee! Hee!

A Funny Thing To Email - Pope Benedict the Chauffeur

The Pope, regarded as the one person that is closest to God, is known as a very important person, even outside of the Catholic religion. What do you think the pope does in his spare time at the Vatican? Here is a very funny email forward about the Pope and what transpired when took a ride in a limo.

Here's the very funny email:
Subject: Good Clean Catholic Joke


VATICAN HUMOR

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folk!

A Funny Email To Send - Eve and God

You may have heard of the story of Adam and Eve from the bible, and how Eve was made by God by taking a rib out of Adam. On that note, here's a funny story about Eve and God that may make you think otherwise. Hope you like this funny email!

Here's the really funny email:
Subject: Eve's Side Of The Story

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY!

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied.. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".

"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone. "

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see,where did I put that useless boob?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

A Funny Email To Send - The Blame Game

Have you met anybody who would never admit to their own mistakes and always tried to blame it on somebody/something else, even the goldfish? Here's a funny email to send to those friends who love to take the blame away from themselves.

Here's the really funny email:
Subject: Old Wrinkled Ass

How the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company..

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.

If your grandchildren are Brats without manners, you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a Deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.

So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to blame Bill Gates.

Well, gotta put the blame on somebody! Hope you enjoyed that funny email!

A Funny Email Forward - Aging and Life's Little Indulgences

People are living longer, and the life expectancy has increased thanks to things such as medical technology and education about living healthy. Have you ever thought of reasons why you wanted to live to an older age? Is it because you have many plans after retirement, such as traveling and taking care of the grandchildren, or have you not thought about it at all? Here is a funny story about a man who asks for advice from his doctor, about growing old, and his plans for the future. Read on to see the doctor's funny advice!

Here's the really funny email:
Subject: Will I Live To Be 80?

Here's something to think about.


I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said,...

'Then, why do you even give a shit?

A Funny Email To Send - Voice Activated Truck Radio

There are many new technical gadgets that are coming out nowadays that can be added to your vehicle, such as built in GPS, dvd screens, and the like. Here is a very funny email to send about a new feature for car radios - voice activated radio stations. How do you think it responds by command? Read on to find out!

Here's the really funny email:
Subject: My New Truck

MY NEW TRUCK

I bought a new GMC Sierra and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?' 'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant ' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, 'Ass Hole!'

Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and gentlemen,the prime minister of Canada."


Damn I love this truck......

I would love to have one of these radios in my car! Hope you enjoyed this funny email!